Prayer preparing for Holy Qurbana

The following prayer I have used as preparation for Holy Qurbana. Sharing here, hoping it might benefit someone:

Just like the glorious prophet Isaiah saw, bless me O Lord to see you in your glory during the Holy Qurbana. As I approach your Holy Throne, and as the Holy Body and Blood is placed into my unworthy mouth, help me O Lord, to become aware of your unapproachable holiness and my own sinfulness today, just like Isaiah did that day. (Isaiah 6)

Open my eyes today O Lord, just like you opened the eyes of prophet Elisha's servant so that he could see the great army of fiery chariots protecting them all around them - just like him, open my eyes also so that I may behold the great multitude of heavenly and fiery beings all around the Holy Madbaha and the Church as I stand with the Church, offering the Great sacrament to you today. (2 Kings 6)

Just as St. John the Evangelist missed you so much in the far away and lonely land of Patmos, so much that you opened the heavens to reveal the world beyond to him, and you opened time to reveal the future to him - give that same experience to me as well today O Lord -- so that the wonders of the world and time beyond maybe revealed to me as well as I partake in the Holy Qurbana today.

Give me the grace to experience the presence of the holy saints as I stand for the Holy Sacrament today - so that I may realize and come aware of the presence of the Mother of God, of such saints as Parumala Thirumeni, Vattasheril Thirumeni and others standing with me -- all standing together in and as the Church -- so that becoming aware of their presence, I may align my body, mind and soul with them, and become a bit more like them, to offer you the Holy Qurbana today.

The Longing to speak with God

There are times when I remember a(some) small story that I read somewhere which gives a subtle answer to an important question I have. And I think -- Lord is that your way of showing me the answer?

Sometimes I unexpectedly get advice from somewhere, that I am uncharacteristically led to act upon, and that leads me to open a door I never knew existed -- and I ask - Lord was that you prodding me this way?

At times, I am led to write on something, the words come to me out of nowhere, so much so that when I read it later myself, it surprises me at how I was able to write that way -- and I quietly wonder -- Lord was that you urging me on?

These are thoughts that are beyond reason. Probably dismiss-able as silly. But when I sit down and calmly look back to see such occurrences happening over and over again, with a remarkable consistency -- I have to say -- Lord, someday I hope you speak directly with me. Just like you spoke with Moses, or with Abraham or with Noah. I do not pretend to be anywhere close to the spiritual towers that these fathers of old were, yet taking courage in the truth that your Holy Son is joined with me eternally by the Divine Sacrament, realizing the transformative power of that glorious mystery, I keep the hope alive of having a conversation someday directly with you - without the veil of subtle coincidences and without the cover of covert circumstances of time.

Christmas celebration at St. Pauls Indian Orthodox Church, Albany NY

A short while ago the nearest place we knew where there would be Perunnal service like Christmas or Easter was Syracuse which was about 150 miles away. Later we came to know of another Church in Fishkill which was somewhat closer, only 100 miles or so away. So around this time of the year, we would be trying to figure out and plan where to go to attend Christmas service. We hoped the weather would be kind and the drive would be safe. It was easy to give in and stay home, but the longing to attend the service like we were used to in India, to be near the altar when the world celebrated the birth of the Savior, to break the fast with the Holy Qurbana, all made us hit the roads more often than not. So we have great memories of Christmas with the St. Gregorios Indian Orthodox Church Of Dutchess County,NY Church family, Holy Week with Syracuse Church family from past years. 

And then in these last days, God blessed Albany and blessed Albany abundantly. This year we are preparing to celebrate Christmas service in our own church. I remember a time when having a special service in Albany required such elaborate planning including driving the priest from and back to NYC or Philadelphia. We have a full time vicar now with service every Sunday -- also evening prayer every Saturday at Church! Not so long ago, I was trying hard to find one acolyte's training for a regular Sunday service, and this Saturday we are getting together to practice for the Christmas service - we did not even dream of such luxuries a few years ago!

So once in a while, I pause to look back at the paths traveled - just so I do not forget the mighty providence that brought us here - from nothingness to overflowing abundance, from emptiness to exceeding mercy -- and I fall to my knees reminded of the amazing grace that loved a wretch like me. Also I get a grim reminder every time these memories flash in my mind, that unless we bear fruits worthy of these great blessings, we stand to lose everything.

Lord have mercy!

(written in 2008)

Parish committees -- A time for change, a hope for change

This time of the year Church parishes around the world are changing their management. New committees would have been elected and would be waiting to take up their assignments starting from the new year. Wish you all a very good year in the service of the Lord. Jotting down a few things hoping they would be useful to someone -- based on my very limited experiences as an active parishioner, as an ordinary member and an important stakeholder in the Church, and also as a Moderator of a global community for close to 15 years, that has discussed many affairs concerning our parishes and the Church, which has given me a bird's-eye-view of different issues plaguing us. I present these not as any expert, but as an observer and an ardent well wisher -- hoping for change for the better, in this time of change:

1) Please zealously try to keep the environment positive. Every one here is a volunteer trying to spend their time and resources for the good of the Church. Negativity, once it creeps in, can wreck havoc in meetings. It is the work of the Devil. You do not get far by nitpicking, by belittling and insulting the other person. For ensuring positivity, every member elected by the General Body has a role. Every one has a voice and a responsibility to ensure the meetings happen in a positive environment. When committees fail in this responsibility, the hurt permeates the committee and into the parish, into the Church -- and is very very long lasting.Zealously maintain positivity.

2) Be willing to listen. You have one voice and so also does every one else. Your opinion however valid, is as much worth as the other person's. Raise your voice, but then let the discussions and debates happen in a positive manner. By respecting each other we can still have great disagreements and spirited discussions on issues and that is ok and needed. The problems arise when we stick to "my way or the highway" kind of attitude. Be willing to listen.

[It is interesting to note that we as adults know of and practise these principles in the professional environment, yet fail to adhere to these in the Church -- probably because the stakes are seemingly higher in the office -- but that thought is very deceptive -- for in the Church, we are playing with fire, and dealing with the soul -- if we are careful of conduct in the professional world -- we ought to be doubly so in Church]

3) If you see a tendency of one person hijacking an agenda or the meeting, please speak up. We usually keep quiet to avoid confrontations, but remember your silence can cause irreparable harm when others take advantage of your passiveness. The general body that elected you expects you to speak and act. Not only the vicar, every one elected is responsible to speak up and always direct the management, keeping the big picture of the parish and the Church in mind.

4) As I saw in a recent training video for new council members for the Greek Orthodox Church ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rn-CHJWP2E8&feature=share ) the new committee will do well to remember that "the main purpose of the council is not to make decisions but to make disciples for Christ". Be welcoming, be open -- in your minds and in leading the congregation -- we all naturally and instinctively have a tribal mindset -- this is a needed gift for survival, self respect, self preservation and self propagation -- but as part of the leadership in the Church, you are called into a greater calling -- to lead others into Christ -- and that Christ's calling is for all -- beyond all borders of ethnicity, language and culture.

Wish you all a great year of service and of support in the ministry of your vicar and your bishop.
(Dec 2015)

Happy New Year -- Becoming like St.Joseph

One character we see in the Christian Scriptures who is very different from others is St. Joseph, the earthly guardian of Christ. In the male dominated world of the first Century, in the midst of a fiercely Patriarchal Jewish society -- we are shown the image of this humble person who, by his choice to invite her into his world, allows his wife and her child to take center stage, relegating himself to the background, even while fulfilling all responsibilities as head of the household. He took some very important decisions in the life of Christ and his role was crucial in the Incarnation story. He would have immensely influenced the earthly life of Christ, yet we see not a single word spoken by Joseph in Scripture. He was righteous and despite loving the Law wanted to shield St. Mary from coming to harm due to the Law.

In the world of today -- still largely male dominated, and still generally selfish, can we (men) like St. Joseph forego our ego to allow the women folk and the other persons around us to shine through, while relegating ourselves to the background?

In the world of today -- with its different rules and regulations, laws and bylaws - all given for common good -- can we always seek for the "spirit of the law" rather than get lost in its letters - and always seek the big picture like St. Joseph did?

This new year, can we, like St. Joseph seek solace in silence, and yet be decisive in actions, so that God's plan for our world comes to be with us and through us?

This new year may we all resolve to become more like the St. Joseph of the Christians - whatever be our faith, backgrounds and affiliations -- for the good of humanity as a whole.

Wish you all a happy and wonderful New Year 2016.

Foreigners shaped the history of India and the Indian Church

The history of the Indian Orthodox Church from the 16th to the 19th Century is mainly a record of the stress and strain suffered by the Church of Malabar exerted by the Portuguese Roman Catholics and the British Protestant missionaries.

~Lesson 7, Unit III Sunday School, Northeast American Diocese of the Malankara Orthodox Syrian Church,
 
 By the late 19th to the 20th Century, we could add the Syrians also into this mix, Syrians whom we came into touch with in a big way from the 16th Century, while resisting the ways of the other foreigners above. Foreigners who came to the Church of Malabar have left their mark on the history of the Church here. Its true that the Church of Malabar has benefited from these foreigners yet they have done more harm than good -- they have left a proud and ancient Church of India - badly bruised, broken and violated. 

Finally with a Catholicate of its own, and visionary leadership at the helm - this Church has found new life and is witnessing her Master with renewed vigor (even though she falls and fails often, He raises her up again and again) starting from Kerala and through the beloved land of India and abroad since the beginning of the last Century. Having lived and witnessed in the spiritually rich land of India from the beginning of Christianity, this Church understands the core ethos of India -- its secular fabric, its religious passion, its religious plurality, the goodness in the other faiths and have embraced these sentiments completely while always sharing the love and peace that Christ brings for the world, which is for all. This is possible not because of any peripheral show of tolerance, but because the Church of India truly is Indian, living in, giving to and taking from the land from its inception. The way she lives her faith in Christ will be totally different from the way of the West or anywhere else in the world.

Just as the foreigners who came to India by the 16th Century influenced the history of India as a whole, the history of the Indian Church has been a tussle against foreigners and their influences, especially from the 16th century on wards. It has influenced the progress of the Church - remembering it and taking lessons from it will keep the Church in good stead.

Revealing God -- Becoming Jordan

It was in the river Jordan that the Holy Trinity was revealed to the World.

Years earlier, from Bethlehem -- the baby was stolen away to Egypt like a nobody to escape the tyranny of the King -- He did not reveal Himself to the world then.

When the prophets Simeon and Anna spoke about Him, Mary kept all things silently treasured in her heart -- He did not reveal Himself to the world then.

When he asked and answered questions, debated and discussed in the Temple as a boy, amazing all those around Him -- He still did not reveal Himself to anyone -- instead He silently went back home with his Mother and Joseph, to live with them in obedience.

For 30 years as he "grew and became strong, filled with wisdom" , the world did not know who He really was.

Finally -- it was in the river Jordan that the Holy Trinity was revealed to the World. In full view of the public, where John was baptizing all, on a great bright day -- Jesus Himself comes to be baptized --
Look in the water to see the Holy and Merciful Son, the Alpha and the Omega, the Creator of all bowing down humbly before His own Creation to be baptized.

Look at the sky to see the Holy and Majestic Spirit descend on the Son in the form of a dove
Hear the Words of the Holy and Almighty Father, thundering through the clouds, for everyone to hear and understand clearly, so that there is no more doubt -- “This is my beloved Son,with whom I am well pleased."

It was in the river Jordan that the Holy Trinity was revealed to the World. Can we, like the Jordan, become the means to reveal the Holy Trinity into the world? Through us, can the One God of all, become manifest?

May the Holy Feast of Theophany bestow on us the blessings like the Jordan to become ourselves revelations and manifestations of the Holy Trinity for the world.

Ref: pointers from an old homily on Theophany by Rev. Fr. James Cheriyan in Chicago.

Happy New Year -- Becoming like St.Joseph

One character we see in the Christian Scriptures who is very different from others is St. Joseph, the earthly guardian of Christ. In the male dominated world of the first Century, in the midst of a fiercely Patriarchal Jewish society -- we are shown the image of this humble person who, by his choice to invite her into his world, allows his wife and her child to take center stage, relegating himself to the background, even while fulfiling all responsibilities as head of the household. He took some very important decisions in the life of Christ and his role was crucial in the Incarnation story. He would have immensely influenced the earthly life of Christ, yet we see not a single word spoken by Joseph in Scripture. He was righteous and despite loving the Law wanted to shield St. Mary from coming to harm due to the Law.

In the world of today -- still largely male dominated, and still generally selfish, can we (men) like St. Joseph forego our ego to allow the women folk and the other persons around us to shine through, while relegating ourselves to the background?

In the world of today -- with its different rules and regulations, laws and bylaws - all given for common good -- can we always seek for the "spirit of the law" rather than get lost in its letters - and always seek the big picture like St. Joseph did?

This new year, can we, like St. Joseph seek solace in silence, and yet be decisive in actions, so that God's plan for our world comes to be with us and through us?

This new year may we all resolve to become more like the St. Joseph of the Christians - whatever be our faith, backgrounds and affiliations -- for the good of humanity as a whole.

Wish you all a happy and wonderful New Year 2016.

The Christ be born within you- A Christmas message

A message delivered to God's people recently. Jotting it down so that its not forgotten and sharing it hoping it benefits someone.
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A happy time : what makes us happy?
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If we look around our world at this time of the year, there is no doubt that this is a wonderful time of the year to be in. Lights all around, decorations, people giving gifts, sharing -- everyone seems to be in a festive mood. Everyone seems so happy! What is the reason for the happiness? Why is everyone so happy?
Different people have different reasons for being happy. If we look at it in an economic sense, the CEOs of companies are happy because this is the greatest time for business. The surge in sales that they orchestrated on Black Friday is reaching its climax during the Christmas season, all their adverstisements and marketting are bearing results in profits -- so they are happy. But as Christians, what makes us so happy during this time of the year?
We are people who go to homes to sing carols. One message we give during the carols through our songs is -- "The child is born!"
Where is the child born? In Bethlehem.
When was the child born? 2000 years ago.
So -- for a child born, not anywhere near you and me, but in far away Bethlehem -- Bethlehem which is today what we know as Middle East -- when we hear some of the happenings in the Middle East today, a chill goes down our spine, in such a land -- if a child is born -- why does it make you and me happy here? And he was born, not anytime recently, but 2000 years ago. For a child born in some far away land, many centuries ago -- why should that make us happy here and now?
Then again someone says --"The King of the Jews is born!" (It was the King of the Jews that the wise men from the East came searching for) But if the Jews get a new king, what is that to us? Why should it make you and me happy?

Christ must be born within us
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What I am trying to say is -- Christ must be born -- not for someone else, not in a far away land, not in a bygone time -- Christ must be born within each of us individually today.
Only then will all of our services, our prayers, our offerings in the Church become meaningful.Christ must be born in us and He must be born now!
It is this that we see in Galatians 4:19 -- a completely devoted St. Paul who is persevering in all trials and pain "as in childbirth" for the sake of his spiritual children, so that Christ is born in them. This is what the Church works diligently each moment for -- that Christ is born within us.
Where within us?

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So if he has to be born within us -- where within us must He be born? Is Christ born in the palace? We all know of the experience of the palace within us. We all like to remember those moments of the palace -- times when we are being honored or recognized,or our children have done something that made us proud -- all those are experiences of the palace within us, and we love to bring them back again and again to memory and relive them --
But Christ is not born in palaces -- where is He born then? there are places within us which we do not want to remember -- those lonely, long moments that drag us down -- maybe because of illnesses, maybe times of weaknesses of old age, maybe times of despair at the loss of a spouse, a child, a parent -- those humble moments of our life -- in that crib that the world does not know -- there Christ should be born within us.

To make it a bit clearer -- even though we traditionally think of the crib or manger where Christ is born, the Bible only shows us that the babe was kept in the manger where the others saw him, not that He was born there. On the other hand, if we focused on the songs we sang today -- we have a strong tradition in our Liturgy -- that He was born in a cave, a den -- so such places in ourselves which are as humble and as lonely like the cave -- which no one knows -- there Christ must be born within us. Will you allow room for the Mother of God and Joseph into those parts of your life which are your most vulnerable, which you want to keep hidden from everybody -- will you allow room for Christ, who is the ever present hope for the most hopeless, in there today?
Another thing about the cave is -- it is dark -- no semblance of light is there --> there are such dark corners within us -- which we ourselves do not realize -- of hurt and vengeance -- due to past relationships and experiences -- things which we are unable to forgive or let go -- into those dark corners of our lives -- will you allow the light of Christ to be born today?

What will this give us?
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When we allow Christ to be born into the dark and lonely caves within us -- what do we gain? To understand this let us dwell a bit into the depth of our faith -- if we noticed the songs we sang today during the Christmas service, we would have noticed -- the lyrics were all of the great joy that has come upon us -- yet the tone used, the tunes -- reminded us of something else -- a melancholy note -- several of them reminded us of the Holy Week, the Great Lent and of Good Friday! Did you notice that? Why? It used to confuse me earlier -- why this sad tone on a happy occasion? It is because -- the Church is as always -- teaching us through these -- teaching us an important lesson that -- the Miracle of the Incarnation of the Lord cannot be separated from the Mystery of the Cross.
We all were never meant to die, we were created in Adam to live eternally. Only one person was ever born who was born to die -- our Lord Jesus Christ -- the miracle of His incarnation cannot be separated from the mystery of His passion and His glorious Resurrection.
So when the Christ born in our dark and lonely caves, He will lead us on His journey to the Cross. That is what the Church does - till today she was preparing us for Christ to be born within us, and from now on, the Church will lead us on a journey with Christ to the Cross -- and what this will give us is -- sacrificial love -- as we see on the Cross -- the ability to suffer and sacrifice for others, the ability to love when unjustly condemned -- this ability to love in sacrifice -- this He will give us.

The larger cause
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When each individual thus allows Christ to be born within you, within us -- that is when we grow as a parish. That is when the society around us, with whom we engage daily, grows in Christ; that is when the land becomes "Christ-like". Every activity of the parish is (supposed to be) a mission, every work a ministry. May the Christ that is born in you individually, grow your parish and through your parish -- the society around you that you serve, the society around you that you are called to serve -- and may you and through you, them -- be able to walk in the way of the Cross with the Christ born in you today. All prayers and good wishes for a Merry Christmas to you.

St. Stephen's Day: A call to the Diaspora

Today (January 8th) we remember the first martyr, deacon St. Stephen.

The first Christians were all Jews with a traditional Hebrew heritage, living in and close to Jerusalem. They heralded the great movement of Christianity out of Judaism. But they did not really have a vision beyond the Jews.

Then from the diaspora emerged such figures as St. Stephen. He was a Hellenist Jew. Hellenists did not carry the burden of the Hebrew culture and tradition like the Hebrews. Thus it was easier for St. Stephen to see the mission of the Lord in a much wider perspective than the Hebrews could. St.Stephen paved the way for the grand work of St. Paul the Apostle of the Gentiles. St. Paul again was from Tarsus in the diaspora, taught by the best of teachers Gamaliel. And St. Paul brought the Lord to the whole world.

Thus we see that after the first phase of the Christian movement by the Hebrews, the next phase of bringing it out to the world was done by those from the diaspora. For the Indian Orthodox Church, this could serve as a great model to imitate. The last Century has been one of great awakening and revival in the Church. The faith has been nurtured, preserved and handed down by the great visionary warriors of the faith in Kerala, especially with the establishment of the Catholicate. Now it could be the turn of the ones in the diaspora to take the Lord's work in the world to the next level.

Very glad to see this already happening in the arena of Liturgical Translations. CP Chandy Sir, Vattakunnel Bava and others persevered to translate our Liturgical treasure from Syriac to Malayalam -- and now we see the Liturgical Resource Development of the SW American Diocese and similar initiatives from Nagpur Seminary taking it to the next level working on translations into English and Hindi among others.Some brilliant work coming out of the American Dioceses as well as Nagpur Seminary in the Sunday School and OVBS fields also bear testimony to the work being done by the Diaspora.

The next great revival in the Indian Orthodox Church could probably be heralded by the diaspora.May the torch bearers from the Jewish diaspora -- St. Stephen and St. Paul -- serve as our fortresses and powerful intercessors in this journey.

The Dangers of the Institutionalized Church

An institution exists to establish a structure, a system, a process around a cause, to make it efficient. And this is needed, and good - to provide a smooth run, to be fair, to provide accountability. However the idea of an institution works best when the cause, the goal - is tangible, is measurable.

And here-in lie the dangers in institutionalized religion. The Church for example, is in the business, not of running a glorified club in the most efficient manner possible, but is in the business of saving souls. This is a very intangible goal. Our values, our focus, our energies need to be always geared towards this. That is why the Church was established not with constitution and laws (these came much later, it might surprise many how we functioned without any of these till very very recently) but by the unshakable rock of faith in Christ the Son of God, as expressed on our behalf by St. Peter.

Some dangers I see in overly institutionalizing the Church :

1. The tendency to overrule the spiritual: We are Christians first -- followers of a simple uneducated man raised in a carpenter's family -- who taught us to love and forgive. In our quest for efficiency in the process, we overrule the spiritual, we throw away humility -- we lose the human element -- and so we lose Christ -- so we feel it is ok to insult and belittle each other, as long as a clause in the constitution is upheld. We forget that without the spiritual power of the Holy Spirit brooding over our works and our words like He brooded over the waters before Creation, the entire Constitution is worthless.
2. Failing to appreciate the volunteer: An institution in the secular world is run by professionals. Professionals are paid for their work. On the contrary, the bulk of the "institutions" in the Church are run by volunteers. The volunteers are motivated by their own drive and passion towards the cause. They sacrifice their time, money and resources for the cause. This drive of the volunteer gets killed when there is unfair criticism directed towards his\her work. Everyone tries to give their best, but failing to see the good in the volunteer can be disastrous. In a secular institution it is not a big deal as the pay somewhat compensates -- however in the institutional Church, this becomes very quite relevant (and often ignored causing chaos)
3. The tendency to lose the personal: There is a goodness in wanting a professional approach to everything we do in Church, especially the administrative matters. When we see everything "officially" though, we lose the personal touch so much needed at the core in every aspect of the Church. There is a fine balance needed really. This is true in the secular institutions as well. The personal relationship really compliments the professional. But especially so in the Church. If there is no real personal connection with the priest and the parishioners or between parishioners, this shows in the quality of the work they do "officially" in the parish.
4. Failure to be welcoming: The Church needs to be looking constantly to "make disciples of all nations". This means we ought to be perceived as welcoming, to say the least, to those around us. We often fail in this aspect while applying the the laws and canons we have been given. An institution in the secular world really does not have this as its highest priorities. There in lies the conflict of interest, which we need to understand.
5. Failure to reach out: The Institutionalized Church is happy with "reaching out" once or twice a year to the society around with some charity checks, or some token activities, just enough to add a couple lines in its annual report. This is because the Institution in the Church has several other "activities" to cater to in the calendar year -- like the picnic, the family night, the outings, cruises, the Perunnals, Harvest festivals, the carols etc. etc. While most other activities in the Church other than worship can be clubbed together mostly as team building exercises or fund raisers for sustainability, which have their significance, reaching out to the society around should become the core of the life of the parish and should be a natural result of the faith in Christ worn by the Church. Your Christ was with the afflicted always, how can you find comfort in your coffee hour alone?   Connected to this is a false notion among us, that we are building the Church "for our children". Our children will probably never stay with us when they grow. The parish needs to reach out and invite the locals, adapt and be welcoming to them, become relevant to them and become their Church. That is the real purpose of the "parish Church" -- to become the local Church, the community Church, the locality Church. The Constitution and the by-laws alone will not help us reach there.
6. Loss of the servant leader: "For the Son of man also came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (St, Mark 10:45) This is the basis of the call to serve(diakonia) in the Church. From Christ's example, we model the idea of the servant leader, the leader who serves (and even gives up his life for the others). This is generally opposed to the model of hierarchy and its functioning in the secular institutions where the manager at the top orders and the others follow. This concept of service by the leader, so fundamental to the Church and useful to society gets lost when the idea of an institution is applied rigidly for the Church.